By Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo
Isn’t sleep just the best? I definitely love it! As a parent, though, you quickly learn that the blissful slumber you once took for granted becomes a distant memory. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m far more enjoyable after a good night’s rest. Over the years, we’ve created a bedtime routine that’s been helpful. My daughter is only two, so I’m bracing myself for more nighttime wakeups. But even though we’re not quite back to uninterrupted sleep, I enjoy the nights we do get some quality rest and find comfort in knowing I’ve got a few strategies to help us through bedtime.
Here’s to embracing the sleep deprivation phase with grace and a very strong cup of coffee!
Dear Yesenia, Bedtime with my 3- and 5-year-olds is such a struggle. They refuse to stop playing and pick up their toys. They take forever to get into bed, then they get up often– they’re thirsty, scared, heard a noise, too hot, too cold. I know they’re just trying to avoid going to sleep. I have to tell them to be quiet many times before they finally fall asleep. We’re always tired and cranky in the morning. How can we make bedtime easier? Nadia
Dear Nadia, Oh, bedtime battles. For many families, bedtime is stressful instead of a calm, loving way to end the day. And the bedtime struggles can lead to challenges during the day. Children who do not get enough sleep are often tired, irritable, moody and have difficulty concentrating. This can affect their behavior at home and school. Parents and caregivers can become exhausted, stressed and lose their patience more easily.
Here are a few tips to help your children develop healthy sleep habits that will benefit the whole family:
Identify possible causes of bedtime difficulties. Some children have difficulty falling asleep on their own when they’ve always been rocked, held or fed until they fall asleep. Other children have a hard time settling down if they haven’t had enough physical activity or they’ve had too much activity before bedtime. Fears, anxiety or stress can also keep children awake. Sometimes, parents accidentally encourage poor sleep habits by giving in to what children want (stay up later, watch more TV) to avoid arguments. These are just a few of the things that can affect children’s bedtime behaviors.
Follow a consistent bedtime routine. Consistent, predictable routines help children make the transition from being active during the day to being calm and quiet at night. Review your kids’ bedtime routine with them and discuss whether to add or change any steps. Here’s an example of a bedtime routine:
- Play quietly before bedtime
- Brush teeth
- Go to the bathroom
- Go to bed at the set time
- Read a book
- Say goodnight
- Stay in bed until the morning
Prepare your children to follow the routine. Write a list, draw or print pictures that show each step of the routine. Talk about each step and have your kids pretend to do each step before it’s actually bedtime. This allows your children to practice the routine when everyone is calm.
Help them transition from daytime to nighttime. At least 30 minutes before bedtime, tell your children they will be going to bed soon. Turn electronics off and engage them in a quiet activity such as puzzles, coloring or reading. Then 10-15 minutes before bedtime, tell your children it’s time to finish up the activity. Give them a clear, calm instruction to start their bedtime routine — “It’s time to get ready for bed. Please go brush your teeth.”
Give descriptive praise when your children follow the bedtime routine. This lets your children know you’re noticing their efforts, which encourages them to keep trying. Descriptive praise works best when it’s specific, sincere and focuses on the behavior you want to see more of. For example, “You’ve brushed your teeth and gone to the bathroom. You’re doing a great job following the bedtime routine!” In the morning, give more descriptive praise if your child stayed in bed the whole night.
Final Thoughts: There’s a reason why sleep is a basic human need. Our bodies and brains need time to rest and prepare for the next day. Developing positive bedtime routines is one way to help children develop healthy sleep habits that will last a lifetime. It’s a gift for both children and parents.
This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is helping raise children, based on the world-renowned Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, email me at triplep@first5scc.org.
Yesenia Gomez-Carrillo is the mother of a 2-year-old daughter and the Triple P Program Manager for First 5 Santa Cruz County. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency, and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. To find a Triple P parenting class or practitioner, visit http://triplep.first5scc.org, http://www.facebook.com/triplepscc, or contact First 5 Santa Cruz County at 465-2217 or triplep@first5scc.org.
