In Education, Family Support

by Debbie Reber
Differently Wired Club

Earlier this week, Linda Murphy (author of The Declarative Language Handbook), joined the Differently Wired Club for a fascinating talk about how transformative declarative language can be when it comes to helping kids feel connected to us while also developing skills in a way that feels empowering and supportive.

One of the questions that came up during Linda’s visit was how to know when our child is open to talking about something important (as opposed to us just launching in with no warning).

I loved Linda’s answer and I thought it might be helpful for you, too. Linda said:

It’s really important that we tune into that processing of our learners so that when we share information, we share it at a time that they’re most likely to receive it, which creates that successful interaction. So when we say, ‘I’m wondering if now is a good time?’ then they have the option to say, ‘Yes’ or ‘Not right now.’ And that allows you to plan for the future together. You can say, ‘Okay, I’ll check back in an hour and see if that’s better.’ And that’s also where it gets exciting, because then you’re also future planning, which is an executive function, and it’s within the context of a personal interaction.

If you’ve got a child who pushes against demands or gets dsyregulated when posed with a question or when it time to talk about problem solving, planning, and more, I encourage you to give declarative language a try. It’s been a game changer for me.

And if you’d like to join me for live, cozy meetups with experts like Linda Murphy and learn how to incorporate these powerful tools into your parenting world, please join us in the Differently Wired Club!

Doors are open through Saturday at midnight, and when you join, you’ll have a library of 48+ talks including Linda’s visit at your fingertips, and you can join us for next month’s visit with the authors of Is This Autism?, Dr. Donna Henderson and Sarah Wayland.

Click here to learn more about the Club.

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