My Wife’s Halloween Candy Policy Makes Me See Red, But This Year, I Have a Plan.
Advice by Greg Lavallee
September 24, 2025
Dear Greg, My wife and I have two boys who are 5 and 7. There’s more than a month to go before Halloween is upon us, but every year the end of trick-or-treating turns into a war with her over how much candy the boys are allowed to keep. She wants to limit it to 20 pieces. I grew up with parents who let me and my sister keep whatever we collected and think there’s nothing wrong with it. As the kids have gotten older, having the bulk of their candy taken away has been increasingly upsetting for them. This year I’m planning to hide the candy instead of taking it to my workplace and doling it out to the kids in secret so they can still enjoy it while avoiding the blow up. Thoughts? Trick for Her
Dear Trick for Her,
I know this is going to be tough to hear, but as a parent you are supposed to be one of the responsible people in the house. Part of that includes acting like an adult.
Here are some tips for acting like an adult:
- If you disagree with someone, have a conversation about it.
- Consider the well-being of your children.
- Be honest with your spouse.
Here are some ways that you are acting like a child:
- Hiding candy
- Avoiding confrontation
- Blaming others
- Teaming up against Mom
- Making a crayon drawing of your plan (I’m just kind assuming you did this)
Here’s an idea: have a discussion with your wife about the limit and then present it to the kids as a rule you’re all going to follow. You can set a positive example of self-moderation. We limit our kids to 20 pieces and it’s enough. And a lot of the candy is crap anyway, though I feel like candy variety is going way down these days—it’s all the same. Having a limit helps them pick favorites. Make it fun to choose. Let them pour it all out and marvel at it, then start working on sorting and trades.
Teaming up with the kids against Mom is just bad, bad parenting. Don’t do it! Be the parent. Let them be the kids.
